Who I want to be

I've tried to make you understand

Tried to explain

But you wouldn't understand

Wouldn't listen

So I'm done

Trying to explain

I haven't given up

Far from it

I've just accepted the fact

That you'll never get it

That you'll never get me

I still have my hopes, goals and dreams

Only you won't be a part of them

Because nothing I do is good enough for you

You always want more

And I can't comply

Because I've nothing left

So I guess I'll settle for being alone

In my little world of make-believe

Where everyone gets me, including you

Especially you

But that's just another one of my stupid dreams

Right?

My stupid,

Elusive,

Naive,

Ridiculous dreams

The ideas that you'll never acknowledge

So I won't share my hopes anymore

At least not with you

But I'll keep dreaming

Alone

But deep down,

I'm still hoping,

Dreaming

Like the child I am

That one day...

You'll finally understand

And realise that I'm a dreamer

With my head in the clouds

And that there's nothing wrong with that

Because everyone's different

And while some people have to look at everything

With seriousness and practicallity

Some people have to see what they want to see

And that includes dreamers, idealists

That includes me

So sorry

But I'm not happy being you

I'm not happy being you

I'm content being me

And no longer shall I let you

Dictate to me

Who I want to be

Reflection

I gaze into a mirror
A young girl stares back with forlorn eyes
Blue and empty
She's frowning;
I don't know why
A single tear slides down her cheek
I fell wetness upon my own
I reach up to touch my face
The other girl does the same
I freeze and she does too
I reach ou with my hand
Hers stretches to meet mine
Cold glass meets my fingertips
A feeling of loneiness descends upon me;
I'm alone, I'm scared
The girl stares at me accusingly
I can't bear it anymore
I turn...
And walk out of the door
The girl remains, alone
And I walk on -- free...

Let me hold you

Mother, I have something to say

Something that should have been said long ago

Something I can't keep in any longer

Something I have to say before my time's up

When I fell you picked me up

When I broke down you dried my tears

When I was sick you never left my bedside

Even though you were much sicker than I ever was

When I gave up you made me fight back

When I felt like dying you gave me a reason to live

When Dad died and I blamed you you never fought back, not even once

Even though you were falling apart inside

When I ran away you hunted me down and brought me home

When I lost my temper and punched another kid you were the only one who understood

When I failed my classes you never scolded me

Even I could see the pain in your gentle, brown eyes

Mother I'm sorry for how I've treated you

I regret the pain I've caused you

I never realised how much you did for me

I would never have made it this far through life without you

Mother dear, I'm trying to tell you I'm truely sorry

I've wasted my time with you

Now, as you lie old and sick on your deathbed

Let me hold you as you've held me throughout these past years

What do you see?

Look into my eyes
My feelings,
My honesty.
What do you see?
Depression?
Misery?
Someone cadged?
Trapped?


Look at my mind
My education,
My thoughts.
What do you see?
Brainwashing?
A retard?
Someone dumb?
Stupid?


Look at my family
My Father,
My brothers.
What do you see?
Oppression?
Harshness?
Someone enforced?
Imposed upon?


Look at my abode
My home,
My room.
What do you see?
Dullness?
Restriction?
Someone abused?
Imprisioned?


Do you?
No.
I'm a Muslim
A young woman
And I'm free,
Respected,
Looked after,
I'm happy.